OMG! US NO. 1 Fashion Designer Tom Ford Brutally Roast Meghan BRANDED HER Fashionless Ex Royal.
It’s your favorite neighborhood critic here, and boy oh boy, do I have a scorcher for you today. We’re talking about none other than the ex-royal herself, Meghan Markle, and how she just got absolutely roasted by the king of American fashion, Tom Ford. So grab your popcorn and let’s get into this delicious mess.
So now let’s start with the man himself, Tom Ford. If you don’t know who Tom Ford is, honey, you better educate yourself real quick. This Texan-born fashion god practically saved Gucci from the brink of extinction and turned it into the sexiest brand on the planet. Then he went and did his thing at Yves Saint Laurent, which was a whole other can of worms, let me tell you, before finally creating his own brand that’s synonymous with sophistication and sex appeal. The man can make a burlap sack look like haute couture, I swear.
So when someone like Tom Ford decides to weigh in on your fashion choices, you best believe the whole world is going to sit up and take notice. And that’s exactly what happened when he reportedly took aim at our girl Meghan Markle.
Now, before we get into the nitty-gritty, let’s talk about Meghan for a hot second. This woman has been through the wringer, y’all. From Hollywood actress to royal duchess to whatever she is now, it’s been a wild ride, and her fashion choices have been along for every twist and turn. But here’s the thing, and I hate to say it, but it’s true: Meghan’s style game has been a bit off lately. And by a bit off, I mean it’s been about as flattering as a wet paper bag on a windy day.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to body shame anyone. But when you’re a public figure with access to the best designers and stylists in the world, there’s really no excuse for looking like you just rolled out of bed and threw on whatever was lying on the floor. The biggest issue? Her clothes just don’t seem to fit her right. And I’m not talking about a little loose here or there; I’m talking about pants so long they’re practically mopping the floor and tops so baggy you could fit a whole other person in there with her. It’s like she’s playing dress-up in her big sister’s closet, and honey, that’s not a good look for anyone, let alone a former royal.
Now, some folks are trying to make excuses for her. They’re saying, ‘Oh, maybe the clothes are gifts from small brands and she can’t alter them,’ or ‘Maybe she’s too controversial for big fashion houses to dress her.’ But let me tell you something: if I had Meghan’s resources, I’d make sure my clothes fit me like a glove, even if I had to sew them myself.
And let’s talk about those floor-length trousers for a second. I get it, wide-leg pants are trendy right now, but there’s a difference between trendy and tripping over your own hemline. At a recent business summit in the Hamptons, Meghan showed up in beige linen trousers that were so long I half expected to see a broom attached to the bottom. Paired with a halter waistcoat, the whole outfit cost more than my monthly rent, but let me tell you, money can’t buy style, and this outfit was proof positive of that.
Now, some celebrity stylists are trying to defend her choices. They’re saying things like, ‘Oh, she’s just trying to elongate her body,’ or ‘She’s working with samples that can’t be altered.’ But come on, folks, Meghan is 5’6″. She’s not exactly petite, and if she’s working with samples, maybe it’s time to find a new stylist who can actually dress her properly.
But here’s where it gets really interesting. According to some fashion experts, Meghan might be having trouble getting dressed by big-name designers because she’s now seen as controversial. Can you believe it? The woman who was once the darling of the fashion world, gracing magazine covers left and right, is now apparently too hot to handle for the likes of Louis Vuitton and Chanel. Talk about a fall from grace.
And let’s not forget, when Meghan was just a TV actress, she was probably used to being loaned designer duds for red carpet events. But when she joined the royal family, that was a big no-no. Accepting gifts from designers was absolutely forbidden, so our girl probably got a rude awakening when she realized she actually had to pay for her own clothes. The horror.
But here’s the kicker, and this is where Tom Ford’s supposed roast comes in. According to the grapevine, Ford apparently branded Meghan as a ‘fashionless ex-royal.’ Ouch. That’s got to sting worse than a sunburn on a cloudless day. I mean, can you imagine? Being called fashionless by Tom Ford is like being called a bad cook by Gordon Ramsay. It’s the ultimate insult in the fashion world.
Now, we don’t have the exact words Ford used, but let’s be real, actions speak louder than words, and the fact that we haven’t seen Meghan in a stitch of Tom Ford since she left the royal family, well, that says more than any roast ever could.
But here’s the thing that really gets my goat. Meghan has so much potential. She’s got the body, she’s got the fame, she’s got the platform. She could be a real fashion icon if she just put in a little effort. But instead, she’s out here looking like she’s playing dress-up in her mom’s closet. And it’s not just about the fit of her clothes; it’s about the whole package. As one royal stylist put it, ‘Meghan tends to let her clothes do the talking instead of her figure.’ There’s no sparkle, no pizzazz. It’s like she’s trying to hide behind these oversized, ill-fitting garments instead of embracing her body and her style.
Now, I’m not saying Meghan needs to start dressing like she’s heading to the Met Gala every day, but would it kill her to throw on a well-fitted blazer once in a while? Or maybe a dress that actually hits at the right spot on her leg? It’s not rocket science, folks. It’s just good old-fashioned style sense.
And let’s talk about that controversial label for a second, because here’s the thing: controversy can be a fashion designer’s best friend if you play it right. Just look at Lady Gaga or Madonna. These women have built entire careers on being controversial, and designers are falling over themselves to dress them. So why can’t Meghan turn her controversy into a fashion statement? Imagine if she embraced her rebel status, threw caution to the wind, and really went for it with her fashion choices. I’m talking bold colors, daring cuts, unexpected accessories. She could be the fashion royal we never knew we needed.
Instead, she’s playing it safe with beige linen and oversized everything. It’s like watching a Ferrari stuck in first gear—all that potential just wasting away.
But here’s the reality, folks: this isn’t just about fashion. This is about image. This is about Meghan’s place in the public eye. Because let’s face it, when you’re a public figure, especially one as scrutinized as Meghan, everything you wear sends a message. And right now, the message Meghan is sending is, well, it’s a little confused, to say the least. Is she trying to be relatable with her baggy, ill-fitting clothes? Is she trying to distance herself from her royal past by eschewing designer labels? Or is she just completely lost without a royal stylist to guide her? Whatever the reason, it’s not working. And when someone like Tom Ford calls you out on it, you know you’ve got a problem.
Now, I’m not saying Meghan needs to bow down to the fashion gods and beg for forgiveness, but a little self-reflection wouldn’t hurt. Maybe take a good, hard look in the mirror—preferably a full-length one—and ask herself, ‘Is this really the image I want to project to the world?’ Because here’s the thing: Meghan has a platform. She has influence. Whether she likes it or not, people are watching her. And right now, what they’re seeing is a woman who seems uncomfortable in her own skin, hiding behind layers of fabric like she’s trying to disappear.
But Meghan, honey, you can’t disappear. You’re Meghan Markle. You’re the woman who shook up the royal family, who dared to chart her own course. You’re a mother, an activist, a force to be reckoned with. So why are you dressing like you’re trying to blend into the wallpaper? It’s time to step up, Meghan. It’s time to embrace your power, your influence, and yes, your controversy. It’s time to find a style that truly represents who you are—not who you used to be, not who people expect you to be, but who you are right now in this moment.
And if you need help, for the love of all that is holy, hire a stylist—a good one. One who understands your body, your lifestyle, and your message. Because right now, the only message you’re sending is, ‘Help, I’m drowning in fabric.’
Look, I know it’s not easy being in the public eye. Every choice you make is scrutinized, every outfit picked apart. But that’s all the more reason to make those choices count, to use your style as a form of self-expression, as a way to communicate who you are and what you stand for. Because at the end of the day, that’s what great style is all about. It’s not about following trends or wearing the most expensive labels. It’s about knowing who you are and dressing in a way that reflects that. It’s about confidence, self-assurance, and yes, a little bit of swagger.
So come on, Meghan, show us what you’ve got. Show us the woman who captured a prince’s heart, who wasn’t afraid to challenge the status quo. Show us the Meghan who’s ready to take on the world, one well-fitted outfit at a time. Because let me tell you something: Tom Ford might be the king of American fashion, but you, you could be the queen of reinvention. All you need is the right wardrobe.
So what do you say, Meghan? Are you ready to silence the critics, to show Tom Ford and the world what you’re really made of? Are you ready to turn this fashion faux pas into a fashion revolution? The stage is set, the spotlight is on you. It’s time to show the world that you’re not just a ‘fashionless ex-royal.’ You’re Meghan Markle, style icon in the making, and honey, the world is waiting to see what you’ll wear next.
So there you have it, folks. The tea has been spilled, the gauntlet has been thrown. Will Meghan rise to the challenge, or will she continue to drown in a sea of oversized linen? Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure: I’ll be watching, and you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll have plenty to say about it.
